I stopped my smoking
Then they knocked me to the ground
Recycled my bricks
The Old Power Station
Gone in a cloud of dust
Tag Archives: humor
Waiting for God
SwampKing Fool
SWAMPKING FOOL
SwampKing Donald is a juvenile fool
And a narcissist fool is he
He called or the mole and he upped his hype
And he called for his liars three
Conway, Spicer and Mr. Page
All responded to the call
They told him Donald now get ready
You’re headed for a fall.
Said swampking Donald all I really want to know
Who is leaking all the stuff?
Don’t they understand that to tell the truth?
Simply makes the going tough.
I know eleven million is a huge weekly expense
But I don’t make the deals, blame it on Mike Pence.
The Secret Service loves me I think they are fine
But I am the POTUS so I don’t need to toe the line
I do not like Camp David it’s not my idea of fun
I prefer my Mar a Lago in the Florida Sun.
Without my weekly dose of sun I have to use the spray
The bottle says it’s Coppertone But it’s orange they all say.
Swampking Donald’s job is tough something he had not reckoned
The GOP is party first, the country comes in second
His plan to make America great again has no place at all
The principle will lie buried beneath his shameful wall.
Swampking Donald is very proud to be the Armed Forces C-in-C
But a rightwing Bannon puppet is all that he will be.
David Horowitz is his mentor, a huge amount of work
Especially when mentoring someone who is berserk
Mad as a hatter and a schoolyard bully to boot
To hell with tact and protocol he doesn’t give a hoot
What led to all his madness nothing has been said
Maybe his mother dropped him as a baby on his head
Some Northern states have lakes
Complete with native Loons
Swampking Donald’s asylum
Is staffed with hapless goons
Enough, enough I’ve had my say
I’ll put my pencil down
And think about tomorrow
And what I’ll write about this clown.
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Camp Chaos
CAMP CHAOS
To preserve my waning sanity, I took a little break
To sort out what news is true and which of it is fake.
The goings-on at Camp Chaos are running full amok
Even the inner sanctum it seems are learning how to duck
Sessions knows the truth and has himself recused
From looking into matters of which Trumpty’s been accused
The whole lot lie, like a rug upon the floor
No real news we hear just lies and lies galore
“I don’t know” “I can’t recall” “much more I cannot say”
All of them it seems are in SwampKing Donald’s pay
It seems like SwampKing Donald flew into a rage
When his staffers told him, he’s on a different page.
Bannon threw his arms up, poking at the air
While Spicer and Ms. Conway alternative facts did share.
Trump Tower wires were tapped is Trumpty’s latest tweeting
Completely unsupported to distract from Russian meetings
Swampking Donald’s madness is like that of George the third
But George he was quite cuckoo and Trumpty’s just absurd.
Thinks that he can govern by Executive Order alone
What he needs is leadership to really set the tone.
He’s made us just a laughing stock; kids snicker they’re not fools
They dread the wealthy moron he put in charge of all our schools.
He wants to get more nukes and planes and ships as well
SALT treaty be damned, he’ll lead us all to hell
He thrives on megalomania a big dose every day
And sycophantic yes-men who round him like to play
They can’t stand up to Trumpty and tell him he’s not cool
They’ll all stand by in silence while he acts just like a fool
He likes to go to Florida each weekend just to play
The Eleven million that it costs, we taxpayers have to pay
Some say he spent already what took Obama seven years to do
Bestowing his largesse upon his favorite few
They are mostly family, to us a huge expense
You wouldn’t mind so much If Trumpty made some sense.
Last weekend he had to go, go there all alone
The only things he likes to pack, his phone and orange comb
Oh! And don’t forget the glue that keeps his wig on straight
He saves his old toupees they say to use as fishing bait
He likes to golf in Florida and hit those little balls
It’s his escape from governing between his business calls.
I still don’t understand what his followers hope to gain
Have they not yet realized the man his quite insane
He has no self-control and lives in fantasy
Tweeting out old news he’s seen on channel three
He does not stick to facts; relies on tabloid news
He loves when he finds something that he can use
It does not matter if it’s old or from another year
He tweets it out, a constant stream like he’s chugging beer.
Ah well enough! My hair is turning grey.
I’ll have to take another rest though I have much more to say
I guess I won’t be finished until Trumpty’s done and gone
Perhaps he’ll be impeached for such a massive con.
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Asian Fare
Asian Fare
I like Chinese food he said
Why’s that? He was asked
It’s got a taste, but I can’t declare
The flavour sometimes masked.
Allow me then to take you,
On a little tour
We’ll begin perhaps with India
And then Japan for more.
Refrigeration is paramount
To keep food fresh and nice
But when it gets to a certain point
You have to use some spice.
Garam Masala’s good and hot
And so is Madras curry
Important though that when you cook
Do it slowly, do not hurry.
Koreans like to pickle
And of course they serve with rice
Kim-chi is a favorite dish
But not like bread to slice
It’s hot and spicy and then fermented
Exotic food that they invented
To use the cabbages that they grow
Fields and fields, row after row
Viet-Nam has Pho, a tasty noodle soup
With chicken that comes straight from the coop
And then there’s China and its cuisine
Strange snake bile soup and owl spleen
Of course Chinese pepper has a fragrant smell
Makes many dishes go down really well
Especially when served with rice
Brings the taste to twice as nice
After China there’s Japan
Cultural creations made by man
Kaiseki, Japan’s most expensive eats
Carefully made artistic feasts
But being honest, you have a choice
Drive through a Subway and with your voice
Speak to an electronic clown
It will take your order down
And deliver it at window number two
Their creation will be made just for you.
Enjoy your sandwich, lunchtime fare
Often made with Asian care.
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The Press Conference
THE PRESS CONFERENCE
On Thursday Trumpty met with the press
His erratic ramblings however, a mess.
His White House he claims is a fine tuned machine
He’s been drinking his bathwater or else in a dream.
Trumpty is mad, as in insane
His remarks and his lies incredibly inane
And day after day his so-called facts they get more wrong
His nose if you’ve noticed, increasingly long
Soon it will be a Trump Tower on his face
A tower going sideways and quite out of place.
Trumpty’s a fumbler, doesn’t know what he doing
He should go to his window and hear them all booing.
His public attempts at being sincere
Are so patently false and it is unclear
Exactly what he hopes to achieve
Maybe a rabbit from out of his sleeve
A look at some he wants on his cabinet staff
Their qualifications make us all laugh.
What a bellicose fellow he turns out to be
Talk about blowing up Russian ships out at sea
He thinks like a bully and that thinking is poor
Maybe he wants to take us to war.
And what’s with his meeting at his seaside resort
He’ll complain if the press makes a report
Claiming it’s just news that is fake
He’ll say all he was doing, was eating a steak.
With his new found friend all the way from the East
Sharing a meal at a movable feast.
As for questions it seems he picks and he chooses
But none of them about hot Russian Floozies.
He does not wait till the question’s been asked
But starts to answer too soon and too fast.
It’s rude of him to say the least
Perhaps he’s in hurry to return to his feast
The White House it seems has become quite a bore
He prefers his play-pen on the Florida shore.
Pity it’s not at a Marine World park
Where there he could be eaten by a terrorist shark.
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The cabinet Maker
THE CABINET MAKER
Now as we witness the departure of Flynn
Trumpty’s team liars are beginning to thin.
One suspects of course he didn’t go it alone
But the calls to the Russians, Trumpty condoned.
Like at the barber’s we wonder who’s next
If not Bannon or Spicer we’ll all be vexed.
Though Conway’s a candidate to bid us farewell
We have to be patient and time it will tell.
Joseph Clancy just announced he’s resigning his post
For him Secret Service is permanent toast.
He says it’s so that Trumpty can choose
His own director so we’ll watch for the news.
We’ve heard that Trumpty is not a big reader
It also shows he’s not a great leader.
The white House is in upheaval they say
Crisis on crisis occurs every day
Putin has deployed a cruise missile we learned
A thirty year old treaty now has been spurned
Sad thing, there’s nothing Trumpty knows how to do
But he’ll think of something out of the blue.
He’s not inclined to take expert advice
His know-nothings will have us just pay the price
Talking of prices did you see the cost of his wall?
The wall will be high and the price will be tall
He wants to save millions on jets that defend
And spend billions on fences he has no way to mend.
Most cabinet makers are craftsmen well trained
But Trumpty you are completely lame-brained.
Your mental acuity is under great stress
And when you are gone God will us bless!
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Some thoughts on Humpty Trumpty
SOME THOUGHTS ON Humpty Trumpty
Some thoughts on Humpty Trumpty, have been running through my head
It happens when I am awake and even when in bed.
I think it’s all the people, Yes-men to a Tee,
His lies and inane pouting lips that seem to bother me.
That’s not all there’s plenty more which should really make us mad
The realization simply put, is that we’ve all been had.
Swampking Donald conned them; those who cast their vote
You see he swapped his so-called swamp for a king-like moat
Made up of lackeys who support his line of different facts
Away with all the smart things like peace and trading pacts.
He does not like NATO but Putin’s all the rage
He’s just a rank amateur upon the world’s broad stage.
It seems his general Flynn did not wait to be sworn-in
Before he spoke with Russia, a No-No sort of sin.
He claims he does not recall about that which they spoke
For a security director it’s enough to make you croak.
There was a lot of ranting about Hilary’s server not secured
But he uses Twitter an often hacked small bird.
Ah, Swampking have you had a mental check?
Some say you are quite mad but I say what the heck?
King George III was mad it’s told and that I think is true
But malignant narcissist is more akin for you.
After nearly thirty day days of swimming in the pool
Have you now discovered that the world knows you’re a fool?
Buffoon would perhaps be better a just a simple clown
Or perhaps you are a man who would be king and wear a golden crown.
Oh Donald buy a ticket, Greyhound has a bus,
There are seats aplenty, just leave with little fuss.
Take your donor Betsey, Pence and Session too
And all the other billionaires who queue
To feed upon the powers of your post
Just like bacteria feeding not-freely on their host.
The Mid-Terms are a-coming like a warning bell
For the GOP my friend a kind of grave-yard knell.
If the Dems can win some seats and then without ado
You’ll be impeached Oh thank the Lord
We’ll see the last of you.
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Thwarted by the Judges
THWARTED BY THE JUDGES
Humpty Trumpty is thwarted by the judges’ decision
He’s temporarily lost sight of his campaign vision
Whereby he’d ban all those he dislikes
Such as muslins and ISIS and terrorist tykes
He thinks signing an order with writing so bold
Is going to put foreign attacks all on hold.
He’d do better to listen each day when they meet
To the intelligence guys about whom he tweets
He declares what they say is simply a bore
I’d rather listen to Putin, what’s more,
He and his boys hack our systems each day
So I know already what my folks will say?
By the way, if you like to shop through the mail
Instead think of Nordstrom’s where they’re having a sale
On all of Ivanka’s line which they’ll end
Because sweat-shop clothing is ceasing to trend
What’s left over they’ll send to Goodwill
Or use them as rags to clean- up the Hill.
He regrets that he hired Spicer the schmuck
Who’s a whole hockey game short of a puck.
He’s there only to spout more White House lies
That leaves the Press just rolling their eyes
And as for Conway, not tight with her ethics
Spouts a witchy form of White House polemics.
Each story they say has a moral you know
For Trumpty t’s this; you’ll reap what you sow
All of your hatred big talk and your scorn
Is just like hot air out of a horn.
Mexico’s not going to pay for a wall
U.S. taxpayers will be taking the fall.
You’re a liar, a cheat, a con and a fraud
Your Executive Orders just leave us appalled.
And talking of speaking what’s with that weird voice
You use when talking to people of choice
And your hands they make gestures like pictures in air
You do it while standing or when in a chair
By the way I should mention you’re putting on weight
I suggest that you diet before it’s too late
You’ll get even rounder like Humpty the egg
Before you know it we won’t see your legs
The White House will buzz with a lowered hum
Have you seen Humpty our low down bum?
And then without laughing and all mouths agape
They’ll look in the room that matches your shape
There they might find you tweeting your witch
It’s dark in here, where is the switch?
It’s time to bring this rant to an end
I only wish Trumpty that you had a friend
Who would counsel you well with a hand on your back
To stop you from errors and get you on track!
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So-Called
SO-CALLED
So-called President Humpty Trumpty
And his White House hacks
Prefer their brand of truth these days
Known as alternative Facts.
Every last man a liar and the Conway woman too
Make up stuff as they go along
Which they publicly like to spew
The distinction between the truth and their lies
Is lost on the alt-right moron who buys
Into Trumpty’s ideological game
Like me or else I’ll tweet to defame.
I’ll say nasty things all over the place
Lots of things, I can’t say to your face.
If you still don’t like me you’ll force me to sue
Along with the others I’ll get even with you
But just in case you don’t know the rules
Here’s the plan cooked up by my fools
Perish the truth and freedom as well
Fascism will bloom like the fires in hell.
I’m the new leader, commander in chief
My Generals just yes-men Oh what a relief.
I like this dance to the tune they call power
Better than chasing girls in my tower.
Switch off the lights and don’t leave the fan on
Where’s my court jester the so-called Bannon?
He’s down in the cellar drinking again
He does that they say because he’s ashamed
Of all the hatred he spouts on the right
Day after day and night after night.
So Trumpty you’re so-called and that is all
Preach that to your so-called crowds on the mall
Who you claimed showed up to see you sworn in.
If truth be said the mob was quite thin.
And one final word, we’re all at a loss
The so-called appointment of Betsy DeVos
Fa - the Green Dragon 
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