Fa – the name of the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian


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The Postman

THE POSTMAN

In the USA the one who brings the mail
Is referred to as the mailman even when named Gayle.
Some people find this weird
Mail lady is a term that’s almost never heard
In France they have a different name
To which they do refer
No matter if a guy or gal
It’s always le Facteur
In Germany that soul is known
by a name which is full of labor
for there they call that person
Simply der Brieftraeger
In Italy it’s il Postino, usually a man
But if it were a woman, I would be a fan
In Spain it’s el Cartero
Who brings a greeting-card or bill
and sometimes a love letter
to make a still heart thrill
But no matter who brings it I think we all agree
A letter in our mailbox is what we like to see
So right away, write today a short note to a friend
Or someone who is ill it will help them mend!


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At The Corner

At the corner, just up the street,

is a wonderful place for a wonderful treat.

No other country, no other land,

has this treat which you eat by hand.

That’s right! Your fingers get so greasy,

Try it you’ll like it because it’s easy.

Potatoes peeled and cut into sticks,

and when they’re fried we call them chips.

Cod, Halibut or Plaice and sometimes Sole,

as good as soup but, without the bowl.

We’re talking fish, serious fish.

When battered and fried it’s just delish!.

Flaky mouthfuls of fish so white,

tender and tasty at every bite.

And then we add some things thereto,

pepper and salt and malted brew;

to soak up all the fat they say.

But, actually it’s just another way,

to make this treat taste good for me,

whether it be for my lunch or tea.

I heard they throw new stuff into the frier.

Mars Bars? Ugh, you’re such a liar!

No, it’s true an idea that’s new,

Deep fried dessert, a melted goo.

Ah! no such muck will pass my lips;

Not when I’ve got fish and chips.

Written July 10th, 2000.

 

 


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Who Invented Fish and Chips? (in newspaper)

For the past few weeks I have been digging in my spare time for papers, packed long ago and forgotten for a few years. I did mention some time ago that years ago I had written poetry about Fish and Chips. For those of you who are from the U.K. or have visited the british Isles this will be no mystery. However, for some, this may be new. Fish and Chips used to be a staple throughout the country, until perhaps the advent of Indian “take-out”. Anyway, be that as it may, here is a short piece I found which I wrote on June 10th, 2000.

For the Brits, you may remember advertising for England’s Glory matches.

Who Invented Fish and Chips (in newspaper)

Dr. Foster went to Gloucester

for some matches ran the story.

For a certain strike and steady flame,

he asked for England’s Glory.

But that story’s old folk lore,

it was Fish and Chips he went there for.

So back to Bristol on his horse,

There were no buses then of course (not even late ones).

But, from his quest he was prevented,

because Fish and Chips had not been invented.

So to his spouse he said “Right!”

Let’s make some Fish and Chips tonight.

But how? she said, “what is this dish?”

and “what are chips that go with fish?”

“Just watch this spud” the Doctor cried,

“soon he’ll be peeled and cut and fried”

“And what about the fish, does that not matter?”

“wife get some flour and water and make some batter!”

And with this mix, just like skin,

The dead fish in hot fat learnt how to swim.

The dead fish swam around and round,

until he turned a golden brown.

Too hot to eat, so, until later,

they laid him out on last night’s paper.

The Doctor said said he could not linger,

and began to delve with just a finger.

And just to get some more,

he found it better if he used four.

And Mrs. Foster said “I need some salt,

and soured cider with some malt,

and give me pepper by the peck.

This tastes so good so what the heck?’

So here ends this fishy story.

Fish and Chips were England’s Glory!

But there is a sequel to this ryhme

I’ve pondered it from time to time.

Because, Dr. Foster did not stop there,

he went to Oz (Australia) and invented beer.