Fa – the name of the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian

Aphorisms,Quotations (& other thoughts of interest)

THE FOX FUR HAT and a simple misunderstanding

Prince Charles attended the grand opening of the new Garda Siochana barracks in Tinahely, County Wicklow in Ireland wearing a dark blue pin-stripe three piece suit and a fox fur hat.

After some speeches and various pieces of music played by a Garda brass band and a ribbon cutting, Prince Charles found himself sitting at lunch with Gwinnon Vaughan,the mayor of Tinahely and a few other local dignitaries. after the entrée and just before the dessert was about to be served the mayor coughed discretely and said ” your Highness thank you again for coming to our small off the beaten track town, but please forgive me, I must ask about the fox fur hat you are wearing”.

Prince Charles responded somewhat matter-of-factly.

“Oh yes”. “Well I was getting ready for my trip yesterday and my father, Prince Philip wanted to know if I could go sailing today I told him no as I had a grand opening at a Garda Siochana barracks in Tinahely.” “He simply said  Oh!- wear the fox hat”

ON ROCKS and HARD PLACES

Donald Trump is caught between a rock and a hard place. This wealthy megalomaniac is not only needy and childish, he is also an uninformed, clueless, bombastic, and unthoughtful idiot. He cannot go on campaigning (but of course he will) because he will remove any doubt if his supporters think this is untrue. His absence from further campaigning on the other hand will confirm the point.

ON BRITISH SPORTS:

  • Football (Soccer) was invented to turn ruffians into gentlemen; Rugby was invented to turn gentlemen into ruffians.

ON THE JUST and THE UNJUST:

  • The rain, it raineth on the just and also on the Unjust Fella’

But mostly on the Just because the Unjust stole the Justs’ umbrella.

ON MAGIC:

  • The chief enemy of life is not death but forgetfulness and stupidity.  So to my dear friends I say, “You are not forgotten, you are not dead at least not in my own mind   or in my memories”
  •  The key to a conscious and purpose driven life is to combine the three “I’s”.  These are, the intellect, intuition and imagination.  When all three of these work together the latent faculty for personal magic will function properly.

ON PEOPLE I WOULD  LIKE TO MEET or WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE MET :

  • Richard Feynman – Author, Physicist.
  • Robert Graves – Author and translator of more than 130 books. D
  • Helena Blavatsky- Theosophist and author. D
  • Graham Hancock – Author, Journalist, Archeologist, Historian and Anthropologist.
  • Gary Lachman – Author, Founding member of  Blondie, Inductee the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

Colin Wilson D

ON GOD

  • When God made man, She was only joking!
  • If you want to make God laugh, tell Her your plans!
  • God is omnipotent. If that’s the case, when you are going up or down a ladder, is She in front of, or behind you?
  • God didn’t create anything without a purpose, but bedbugs, flies and mosquitoes come pretty close.
  • Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

MEN AND WOMEN ARE STRANGE  CREATURES

  • Women  for the most part want to be loved and men for the most part seek respect. How strange is it the when; men usually give their respect to women and women give men love.
  • Having noted that, here’s something else that’s quite remarkable: When a woman feels loved, she wants or is open to sex. When a man has sex, he feels loved.
  • Women’s thoughts are mostly guided by the heart; men on the other hand, just think with their dicks.
  • Men who are bigamists must be crazy! Why on earth would you want two Mothers-in Law?
  • They say that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach; a swift kick in the ass gets his attention too!
  • A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

ON DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW

  • Male point of view:    A woman without her man, is nothing.
  • Female point of view: A woman without her, man is nothing.

 

ON RELIGIONS: THEY ARE VERY PUZZLING

  • If all religions are correct in their beliefs and preaching; nobody is going to go to Heaven. Everybody is going to Hell.
  • Accepting something on blind faith is irresponsible.It is your work to question. Accepting something because you are afraid of death is silly. You will die anyway.
  • If Moses broke the Ten Commandments; maybe God should have given him Eleven:
  • Thou shalt not get angry.
  • Today an aged Catholic priest was murdered at the altar of his church in France. If he died because of his religion, God will welcome a real martyr into heaven. Jul 26, 2016.

 

ON POWER – SOME REFLECTIONS according to earl Shorris

  • In the city power walks; taxis are for those who meet the schedules of others.
  • Those without power, wait.
  • Power is the central position; it is not the center.
  • The difference between a powerful man and a bully is the latter’s penchant for telephoning underlings at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon.
  • The powerful man said nothing and all those in attendance knew exactly what he meant. Later, they could not agree on what they had heard.
  • There is no power in a small room.
  • The powerful speak slowly as if time were plentiful.
  • When a powerful man asks for something, he is always brought something superior: an urn for a cup, a couch for a chair.
  • Power is arrogated; it always truly belongs to someone else.

 

ON PROJECTS – 6 PHASES

  1. Enthusiasm
  2. Disillusionment
  3. Panic
  4. Search for the guilty
  5. Punishment of the innocent
  6. Praise and Honors for the Non participants

 

ON WEDDING NIGHT’S

She offered her Honor;He honored her Offer;That’s how it went; Honor and Offer

Here’s to that moment of sweet repose

when it’s belly to belly and nose to nose

Then after that moment of exquisite delight

it’s ass to ass for the rest of the night.

 

ON IRRITATING PEOPLE

  • Mean people suck!
  • people who drive across parking lots.
  • People who walk out of supermarkets to the parking lot, without looking left or right for traffic.
  • People who carry on long, loud conversations on their cellphones in restaurants.
  • The person at Starbuck’s who speaks so that everyone can hear, requests a coffee with a description as long as the State of Florida and has a smug look which says “if you were as clever as me,that’s the way real coffee drinkers order”.
  • I am sure that I am irritating. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you!
  • The person sitting next to you on a flight to Los Angeles who answers the question where are you from the L.A. area, with” I am from Orange County”.
  • The worst are those, who having learned the alphabet, believe that they have come into real knowledge.
  • The non-Mexican person, who having never been in Mexico, claims to know what is authentic Mexican food.
  • People on bicycles who act like pedestrians, paying no attention to traffic signs and traffic lights.
  • Tailgaters and other impatient drivers.
  • People who are never satisfied.
  • People who complain at the slightest error or inconvenience.
  • people who never have time.
  • People who make it a habit to be late.
  • Donald Trump – just his name says it all.
  • Men who do not remove their hats (baseball caps) when eating in a restaurant.
  • Men who walk around with their hands in their pockets.

FROM THE BOOK OF WOMEN’S WIT AND WISDOM Running Press 1991

  • The trouble with being in a rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat! – Lily Tomlin
  • There’s no substitute for paying attention. – Diane Sawyer

 ON MACHOISM

  • I realized fairly early in life that Macho does not prove Mucho
  • The Conceal/Carry law in Minnesota successfully converted some law-abiding citizens into armed and dangerous macho shitheads.
  • For some men, carrying a concealed weapon is like having a second penis.

ON UNUSUAL but USEFUL PHRASES IN LATIN

  • Fortisan Hodie                               Perhaps today.

  • Duos polices                                   Two thumbs up

  •  Posuit ubi sol non lucit             Put it where the sun doesn’t shine

  • Osculum mihi asinum!               Kiss my ass

  • Iuvenes eorum comedit legis    Lawyers eat their young

  • comedet ex toto corde tuo         Eat your heart out

  • adepto ex imperium                     get out of control

  • Voca me                                            Call me

  • Quid dicere                                      Say what!

  • non mentior                                   Don’t lie

  • non ingemisco                               No Whining

  • Cave                                                   Watch out!

  • Sicut pisces mortui                        Like dead fish

  • cras liberum cervisia                     Free beer tomorrow

  • et cras non pervenit                      And tomorrow never comes

  • audite me                                           Listen to me.

  • quid sit circuit gyrum                     What goes around….

  • oportet te quasi ludens loqui         You must be joking

  • O vere                                                     Oh really?

  • quod frigus                                            that’s cool

  • nunc me specta                                   look at me now

  • ego sum maximus                                              I am the greatest

  • adipem duos dominarum                         Two fat ladies

 

ON GOOD GUYS and BAD GUYS

  • It used to be that only cops and bad guys had guns. Nowadays even the good guys have guns. It’s confusing; no wonder people are getting shot during traffic stops.

ON the WISE MAN and the FOOL

  • The  Wise man speaks because he has something to say; the Fool speaks because he has to say something.

ON OPPORTUNITY

  • Opportunity knocks your door only once; Temptation  on the other hand bangs at your door daily.

ON MARRIAGE (Wives and Husbands)

  • To keep your marriage brimming and love in the Loving Cup; whenever you’re wrong, admit it and whenever you’re right SHUT UP!
  • When asked if a husband and wife ever go out, the husband replied that they go out two times a week; She goes on Tuesdays and I go on Fridays.