Fa – the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian

Tag Archives: Satire


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The Press Conference

 

THE PRESS CONFERENCE

 

 On Thursday Trumpty met with the press

His erratic ramblings however, a mess.

His White House he claims is a fine tuned machine

He’s been drinking his bathwater or else in a dream.

Trumpty is mad, as in insane

His remarks and his lies incredibly inane

And day after day his so-called facts they get more wrong

His nose if you’ve noticed, increasingly long

Soon it will be a Trump Tower on his face

A tower going sideways and quite out of place.

Trumpty’s a fumbler, doesn’t know what he doing

He should go to his window and hear them all booing. 

 

His public attempts at being sincere

Are so patently false and it is unclear

Exactly what he hopes to achieve

Maybe a rabbit from out of his sleeve

A look at some he wants on his cabinet staff

Their qualifications make us all laugh. 

 

What a bellicose fellow he turns out to be

Talk about blowing up Russian ships out at sea

He thinks like a bully and that thinking is poor

Maybe he wants to take us to war.

And what’s with his meeting at his seaside resort

He’ll complain if the press makes a report 

 

Claiming it’s just news that is fake

He’ll say all he was doing, was eating a steak.

With his new found friend all the way from the East

Sharing a meal at a movable feast.

As for questions it seems he picks and he chooses

But none of them about hot Russian Floozies. 

 

He does not wait till the question’s been asked

But starts to answer too soon and too fast.

It’s rude of him to say the least

Perhaps he’s in hurry to return to his feast

 

The White House it seems has become quite a bore

He prefers his play-pen on the Florida shore.

Pity it’s not at a Marine World park

Where there he could be eaten by a terrorist shark.

 

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Some thoughts on Humpty Trumpty

SOME THOUGHTS ON Humpty Trumpty

 

Some thoughts on Humpty Trumpty, have been running through my head

It happens when I am awake and even when in bed.

I think it’s all the people, Yes-men to a Tee,

His lies and inane pouting lips that seem to bother me.

That’s not all there’s plenty more which should really make us mad

The realization simply put, is that we’ve all been had.

 

Swampking Donald conned them; those who cast their vote

You see he swapped his so-called swamp for a king-like moat

Made up of lackeys who support his line of different facts

Away with all the smart things like peace and trading pacts.

He does not like NATO but Putin’s all the rage

He’s just a rank amateur upon the world’s broad stage.

 

It seems his general Flynn did not wait to be sworn-in

Before he spoke with Russia, a No-No sort of sin.

He claims he does not recall about that which they spoke

For a security director it’s enough to make you croak.

There was a lot of ranting about Hilary’s server not secured

But he uses Twitter an often hacked small bird.

 

Ah, Swampking have you had a mental check?

Some say you are quite mad but I say what the heck?

King George III was mad it’s told and that I think is true

But malignant narcissist is more akin for you.

After nearly thirty day days of swimming in the pool

Have you now discovered that the world knows you’re a fool?

 

Buffoon would perhaps be better a just a simple clown

Or perhaps you are a man who would be king and wear a golden crown.

Oh Donald buy a ticket, Greyhound has a bus,

There are seats aplenty, just leave with little fuss.

 

Take your donor Betsey, Pence and Session too

And all the other billionaires who queue

To feed upon the powers of your post

Just like bacteria feeding not-freely on their host.

 

The Mid-Terms are a-coming like a warning bell

For the GOP my friend a kind of grave-yard knell.

If the Dems can win some seats and then without ado

You’ll be impeached Oh thank the Lord

We’ll see the last of you.


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Thwarted by the Judges

THWARTED BY THE JUDGES

 Humpty Trumpty is thwarted by the judges’ decision

He’s temporarily lost sight of his campaign vision

Whereby he’d ban all those he dislikes

Such as muslins and ISIS and terrorist tykes

He thinks signing an order with writing so bold

Is going to put foreign attacks all on hold.

 

He’d do better to listen each day when they meet

To the intelligence guys about whom he tweets

He declares what they say is simply a bore

I’d rather listen to Putin, what’s more,

He and his boys hack our systems each day

So I know already what my folks will say?

 

By the way, if you like to shop through the mail

Instead think of Nordstrom’s where they’re having a sale

On all of Ivanka’s line which they’ll end

Because sweat-shop clothing is ceasing to trend

What’s left over they’ll send to Goodwill

Or use them as rags to clean- up the Hill.

 

He regrets that he hired Spicer the schmuck

Who’s a whole hockey game short of a puck.

He’s there only to spout more White House lies

That leaves the Press just rolling their eyes

  And as for Conway, not tight with her ethics

Spouts a witchy form of White House polemics.

 

Each story they say has a moral you know

For Trumpty t’s this; you’ll reap what you sow

All of your hatred big talk and your scorn

Is just like hot air out of a horn.

Mexico’s not going to pay for a wall

U.S. taxpayers will be taking the fall.

 

You’re a liar, a cheat, a con and a fraud

Your Executive Orders just leave us appalled.

And talking of speaking what’s with that weird voice

You use when talking to people of choice

And your hands they make gestures like pictures in air

You do it while standing or when in a chair

 

By the way I should mention you’re putting on weight

I suggest that you diet before it’s too late

You’ll get even rounder like Humpty the egg

Before you know it we won’t see your legs

The White House will buzz with a lowered hum

Have you seen Humpty our low down bum?

 

And then without laughing and all mouths agape

They’ll look in the room that matches your shape

There they might find you tweeting your witch

It’s dark in here, where is the switch?

 

It’s time to bring this rant to an end

I only wish Trumpty that you had a friend

Who would counsel you well with a hand on your back

To stop you from errors and get you on track!