Fa – the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian

Category Archives: Comic Relief


by Leave a comment

Humpty Trumpty visits the Queen

STORIES IN RHYME No. 32
Humpty Trumpty where have you been
Off to London to visit the Queen
Humpty Trumpty what did you do there
I hope that they were things that you can share

I know you’ll say her Highness was fab
But I hope you refrained from trying to grab
At one part of royalty you’ll never see
Swampking Donald’s the best you’ll ever be.

And if we look at more of your trips
We learned that in Melbourne you made a terrible slip
You talked about Sweden and their event seen on FOX
Events that were history you got from the box

Is it true you watch TV six hours a day?
That’s more than kids with their parents away!
The DEMs and now some of the GOP
Are beginning to ask “When will we see”?

A glimmer of truth come from you and your gang
Something that doesn’t land with a clang
The nation is weary of alternative facts
Your fabric of truth has too many cracks.

You’re making it up as you go along
Your fine-tuned machine is singing your song
The chorus however is allowing some leaks
Stuff you try to cover with tweets.

A month has gone by and your house is a mess
Even your guests feel under stress
At a recent luncheon with a New Jersey oaf
You ordered for him your tasty meat-loaf

You reveal yourself as one who controls
Not good in the long run for you in the polls
It’s a trait shown by demagogues of yore
It’ll see you dismissed to your Florida shore

The nation doesn’t need a pandering goof
Not someone who’s a few tiles short of a roof
We need a leader both honest and true
Who comes from a state which is both strong and blue

Note: This was written before Trump made his on again/off again visit to the UK. Then I mislaid the USB drive I saved it on. Today – found!


by 2 Comments

It’s Mueller Time – Let’s all have a beer

It’s Mueller time – now let’s all have a beer.

For those who have the ears to hear
let them draw nigh, the truth is here
After months spent on investigations
Soon we’ll be seeing prosecutions
What will come, subpoenas or indictments at best?
Our justice system will be put to a test.
Flynn has fallen, admitting to guilt
The blind lady’s scales beginning to tilt.
Poor Trumpty thought Sessions would have his back
But recusal unfortunately opened a crack.
The crack has now become a large chasm
Trumpty’s allies and base are starting to spasm
Paul Manafort set for eighty years
Has decided at last to see his way clear
To have A come to Jesus talk with Bob Mueller
Where he can paint a picture that’s fuller.
Trumpty must realize the noose is tightening
The prospect for him must be very frightening.
His pal Giuliani has lost the plot
Has a very strange view of what justice is not
Done nothing wrong, there was no collusion
Fake news is making the awful intrusion
Huckabee sanders has a version of truth.
But Kelly Ann Conway’s goes through the roof.
Papadopoulos also sentenced to prison
Shedding light through the Trumpian prism
Some coffee boy he turned out to be!
For Trumpty’s woes he was the key.
Who’s next on Mueller’s slow ticking clock
Will Ivanka and Jared’s names be on the block?
If their names appear to be next
We can be sure Orangeman is going to be vexed.
He’ll fly off the handle like a witch in heat
Then his thumbs will bash out some very odd tweets.
Both inane and angry and we will all laugh
More than we did when we first saw his quaff.
The world will not rest till we’re done with his brood
Enough of a family that’s greedy and crude.
“No Tickee no Washee” was the laundryman’s cry
But not for his tenants who had Rubles to buy
Expensive condos in Trump Tower pristine
Just bring me your money and I’ll wash it all clean.
Just follow the money is the chant we now hear
It’s Mueller time now – let’s all have a beer!


by 3 Comments

Is that the Boogey Man I hear?

Is that the Boogey Man I hear?
Donald Trump’s goose is cooked
Yes, he’s aquiver.
Bob Mueller and his expert team
Are about to send him up the river; *
Not the same river of which he may have sold us down.
Swampland’s incompetent, bigoted racist clown!

Chances are, he’s in Putin’s pocket,
A mental nut in a Soviet socket.
He must be compromised, that, we surmise;
Russian floozies no surprise.
At 71, a braggard supreme
Living the Viagra dream.
Golden showers bring new delights
Peeing through those Moscow nights.
And what of Cohen the man who fixes
Paying off Trumpy’s sexual tricksies.
Adult film stars and Playboy bunnies
How many more are there of those bedded honeys?
To whom he paid campaign cash
Will emerge from out of the Phoenix ash.
Let’s see 35 indictments filed in all
The Donald’s headed for his fall.

What do we hear now of late
that will seal the orange Donald’s fate?
Just Giuliani chanting no collusion
A PR ploy to cause confusion
A bumbling has been, who’s lost his clout
Has no clue what this is about.
Truth is not truth according to him
Make up your facts just on a whim.
Orange man’s aides are starting to turn
Waiting to see; will the Donald burn?
There’s a new book with the title “Fear”
Not at all want the Donald wanted to hear!
Crazy town White House, admin amok.
It seems the staff there do give a damn
By swiping documents to keep us all safe
A diligent few who have not lost their faith.
We are all counting the days to the mid-term elections
And countless Viagras for Donald’s erections.
Ha! What a sad state we find ourselves in.
Let’s all shout impeachment and cause a great din.
Let’s see (again) what will come to pass,
To the time we bid adieu to this horse’s ass.

*A reference to the Hudson River in New York state and the town of Ossining which is the site of Sing-Sing Correctional facility.


by 1 Comment

At The Corner

At the corner, just up the street,

is a wonderful place for a wonderful treat.

No other country, no other land,

has this treat which you eat by hand.

That’s right! Your fingers get so greasy,

Try it you’ll like it because it’s easy.

Potatoes peeled and cut into sticks,

and when they’re fried we call them chips.

Cod, Halibut or Plaice and sometimes Sole,

as good as soup but, without the bowl.

We’re talking fish, serious fish.

When battered and fried it’s just delish!.

Flaky mouthfuls of fish so white,

tender and tasty at every bite.

And then we add some things thereto,

pepper and salt and malted brew;

to soak up all the fat they say.

But, actually it’s just another way,

to make this treat taste good for me,

whether it be for my lunch or tea.

I heard they throw new stuff into the frier.

Mars Bars? Ugh, you’re such a liar!

No, it’s true an idea that’s new,

Deep fried dessert, a melted goo.

Ah! no such muck will pass my lips;

Not when I’ve got fish and chips.

Written July 10th, 2000.

 

 


by 1 Comment

Tea with Socrates

Tearing off the page with my taoism scrawl, this was two pages further on my note-pad;

 

What fun it would be

if Socrates came to tea.

Questions, more and more


by Leave a comment

Barron Trump talks to Pooties Boy

Barron Trump bragging

My Dad’s lies are bigger than

your dad’s lies, so there!


by 5 Comments

More words about Mother’s day

It’s late in the day fast approaching the time when it will be Mother’s day no more. So with that in mind I have a few more words.

Mother and her son

We never saw eye-to-eye

Difference in height!