Fa – the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian


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Coming Soon!

Coming soon to a public convenience near you. Simply push the button to hear a short speech by Donald Trump.


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Egg sandwiches for tea

Humpty Trumpty wanted a wall

But first he planned his inaugural ball

Not many accepted his command to be there

None of them seemed to want to share

In a dubious victory so full of doubt

Russians all over, just rushing about.

Hacking e-mails and sneaking a peek

At matters quite private of which we don’t speak.

Of course he denies it; says it’s a lie

Trumpty will soon gobble the American pie.

His cabinet of billionaires oh yes and there’s more

Millionaires too because he considers them poor.

Let’s see; classless, mean, a vindictive bully

These titles will help to understand him fully.

He suckered us all with fraud and his con

Tweets with which we were showered upon

But Trumpty’s a liar, he can lie in his sleep

And gullible folk will follow like so many sheep.

Guns are important but he doesn’t shoot

The second amendment, the point is moot.

Trumpty doesn’t like his intelligence pals

He’d rather hang out with Hot Russian gals

Putin got tired of dolls he said “Stuff it”

I want a president to act as my puppet.

If I pull the string will he be sweet?

And go off half-cocked with an irrational tweet.

Chaos is what Putin wants to foment

But Trumpty does not believe that’s his intent.

Trumpty is naïve and not worldly wise

He views the world with a newborn’s eyes.

In God We Trust a national motto

But with Trumpty I think we are playing the Lotto.

I hope he’ll learn and quickly at that

He’s no longer the man in the stupid red hat

It’s serious business he’s involved in now

No chance to mutter the words Holy Cow.

I hope too he’ll abandon his wall

A racist monument bound to appall

Even the stoutest Republican soul.

We’ve reached a point where enough is enough

The time where Dems start to get tough.

Now is the time for that rallying call.

Trumpty climb down, we don’t need a wall.

What would happen if you   should fall?

There’s a good chance you will fall on your face

At that’s the moment you’ll lose your Ace.

All the King’s horses and the GOP

Will have to eat egg sandwiches for tea!


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Mea Culpa, carpe Diem, Etcetera

There was a time when still at school

At Latin I was such a fool.

And when it came to noun declensions

I was quickly ordered to detention

And there watched by a cap and gown

I wrote the conjugations down

Amo, Amas, Amat.

I did not love and that was that.

I asked what’s all the fuss

Why me Lord, Quid mihi Dominus?

And all that He would ever say,

Oramus, oramus let us pray

And so it was on bended knee

I offered up my only plea:

Quare hoc malum why is this bad?

I felt like I had been had.

I saw no purpose in this dead lingo

Can you imagine Roman Bingo?

Duos dominarum, two fat ladies, eighty-eight,

Nunc finis, end this now, I cannot wait

Then one day the course was switched

And Latin learning could be ditched.

But what that made me I am unsure.

Vox et praeterea nihil, a voice and nothing more


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THE FOX FUR HAT and a simple misunderstanding

 

Prince Charles attended the grand opening of the new Garda Siochana barracks in Tinahely, County Wicklow in Ireland wearing a dark blue pin-stripe three piece suit and a fox fur hat.

After some speeches and various pieces of music played by a Garda brass band and a ribbon cutting, Prince Charles found himself sitting at lunch with Gwinnon Vaughan,the mayor of Tinahely and a few other local dignitaries. after the entrée and just before the dessert was about to be served the mayor coughed discretely and said ” your Highness thank you again for coming to our small off the beaten track town, but please forgive me, I must ask about the fox fur hat you are wearing”.

Prince Charles responded somewhat matter-of-factly.

“Oh yes”. “Well I was getting ready for my trip yesterday and my father, Prince Philip wanted to know if I could go sailing today I told him no as I had a grand opening at a Garda Siochana barracks in Tinahely.” “He simply said  Oh!- wear the fox hat”


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Just Writing Nonsense

Last night, as I lay sleeping;

A thought ran through my head.

Shall I write more haiku or try some rhyme instead? 

And so with plume in hand and ink pot close nearby,

Sand caster at the ready to ensure my ink would dry.

I began. By the light of the silvery moon to let words fall,

Simply where they may. My word there were so many;

I had so much to say.  

I wrote throughout the night, until the sun did rise.

But there before me on my desk, blank paper nothing else.

Just empty sheets there were no words, I’d dreamed it by myself. 

Now, awake with firm resolve, I write a few words down.

However, I cannot think at all;

I have a writer’s block. My brain’s not on the ball  

With eyes wide open I now will try,

I have to take the plunge.

Sadly I realize the truth, there is no word,

 That nicely rhymes with orange.

I think I’m going to cry. 

At that, I balance my sand caster

On the center of my head.

Where I am sure, if it should fall

Will dry my tears instead.