• My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
• “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
• My mother taught me RELIGION.
  “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
• My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
  “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of
  next week!”
• My mother taught me LOGIC.
  “Because I said so, that’s why.”
• My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
  “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going
  to the store with me.”
• My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
  “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
• My mother taught me IRONY.
  “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
• My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
  “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
• My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
  “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
• My mother taught me about STAMINA.
  “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
• My mother taught me about WEATHER.
  “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
• My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
  “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
• My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
  “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
• My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
  “Stop acting like your father!”
• My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t
  have wonderful parents like you do.”
• My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. “Just wait until we get home.”
• . My mother taught me about RECEIVING. ”You are going to get it when you get home!”
• My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
• My mother taught me ESP. “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
• My mother taught me HUMOR. “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
• My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.”If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
• My mother taught me GENETICS. you’re just like your father.”
• My mother taught me about my ROOTS. “Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
• My mother taught me WISDOM. “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
  And my favorite:

My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!! But, there is one missing from this list ~~ My personal all time favorite!!

• My mother taught me about CHOICE. “Do you want me to stop this car?”