Fa – the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian

The Things you Hear in Bars

1 Comment

When I was in Germany during my army days, I used to wander out of the barracks most evenings to explore the local countryside. When I say wander I really mean that with no plan in my mind I used to drive my 1956 model Volkswagen wherever. I said with no plan but actually sometimes I would do what I called a left right drive.

A left right drive means you get to an intersection and alternatively turn left or right. With the same starting point you eventually exhaust all of the possibilities but if you say to yourself I will drive there and then start my left right drive ;you develop new unexplored byways. Well you get my drift.

One evening I had been out exploring and decide to return to my barracks. The road back to Fallingbostel and Oerbke led me down a very narrow road lined on both sides with pine forests. I can’t remember the name exactly but I think it was gasthaus zum Kneipe ( it’s been 50 years). Anyway, I decided to drop in to see what was going on.

I should mention that in this part of Germany, th4e locals speak a dialect of German called Platt deutsch. It’s a low German, akin to English and easily understood(so they say) by Glasgow dockworkers.

I entered the bar and asked for a beer and a doppel korn. although my German was good it was obvious to those who could hear or see that I was not from around those parts.

there were two older guys sitting about two tables away and I noticed that they quickly switched to Platt deutsch as soon as they realized I was not one of them.

I was not able to speak Platt deutsch but I could understand some of it.

So now the fun part begins: I got my beer and doppel korn and couldn’t help listening to one of the funniest conversations I have ever heard. The two guys were talking about fishing. they went from local rivers to one in Bavaria and then to fishing in the open sea.

The conversation went something like this;

Would you ever go fishing in the sea?

You mean in a boat?

Yeh, of course.

No I don’t think so.

Why not? You might catch herring to Pickle.

I heard about a man who went on a fishing holiday in Greece. he hooked a sword fish and it was so big that when he tried to pull it onto the boat it cut the boat in half.

Now I have heard about the one that got away but this one made me laugh. The two guys noticed that I had understood their conversation and asked me to join them. In spite of being a British soldier we exchanged war stories (soldier talk) and enjoyed a convivial evening.











Author: Cethru Cellophane

I have reached the regrettable realization that I may have squandered my life. I did a quick count recently and figured that I have visited about 66 countries, and lived for more than 3 years in 3 of them. During this time I completed 14 corporate moves (relocations) and have changed my address more than 23 times. I should have settled on a profession that would have kept me in one place with no packing and unpacking. When I think of the time I have spent bundling my life into and out of boxes. Ah well, it's all water under the bridge. But I am grateful for the experience. At the end of the day I will be able to say with a certain authority, "been there, done that". A note about this site’s Header Image The Header image for this site is of the Smith Avenue High Bridge. The bridge was built in 1889 and carries Minnesota State Highway 149 across its span of 2770 feet, 160 feet above the mighty Mississippi River. The picture was taken from the river looking to the north-east and downtown Saint Paul. The bridge is about 1040 miles from New Orleans. One of the reasons I like this view is that I come from a city which has a spectacular bridge. It’s the Clifton Suspension Bridge http://www.ikbrunel.org.uk/clifton-suspension-bridge which spans the Avon Gorge and the River Avon in Bristol, U.K. It’s about 1350 feet long and stands 245 feet above the river below. Sadly it has claimed the lives of more than 400 people who have committed suicide by jumping from the bridge. As a side note, not all attempts were successful. two small girls thrown off the bridge by their deranged father survived the fall when they were fished from the river by the crew of a passing pilot boat. The bridge was opened in 1864 and was designed by the 24 year old architect, Isambard Kingdom brunel. It took 35 years to complete.

One thought on “The Things you Hear in Bars

  1. John my husband lived in Germany as a little boy his father was in the army.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s