Fa – the Green Dragon

A Place for the Odd Musings of an Expat Bristolian

May 1st, my sixth month anniversary as a family slave (and Cool-aid Drinker)

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Today marks my sixth month of working at Schneiderman’s Furniture in Woodbury, Minnesota. Actually my sixth month was officially on April 27th but I was just too tired and more to the point, uninspired to write about the occasion then.I began my new career as a furniture salesman on the 27th October 2014.Prior to joining Schneiderman’s I had been in the hospitality and travel business, so retail sales was a new endeavor for me.

I began my two weeks of sales training on October 13th at the Lakeville offices. There were about 8 of us in the training class. Three of us were bound for the Woodbury showroom and the others bound for the remainder of our 6 stores in Rochester, Duluth, Plymouth, Lakeville and Roseville.

Training was somewhat redundant as the first week was devoted in its entirety to teaching us how to become sales-people. Redundant? Well considering you had to have a sales background to get hired, one would have thought that sales was a given.
The piece that none of us but one had was experience selling furniture. Alas only a day or two the following week was allotted to product knowledge. One of the days was allotted to computer training i.e. actually entering an order into the inventory management system. And this was bizarre to say the least; three people crowded round one computer and the instructor telling what he was doing on his screen so that we could follow along.
I remember doing a LinkedIn update saying that I was attending sales training and furthermore that it was the best training I had ever received. this was quickly followed up by Larry S. the owner of the family business saying thank you and that he would like to get together to talk about LinkedIn sometime. What Larry did not know is that the message was not really aimed at Schneiderman’s. It was aimed at a previous employer whose V.P. of Sales, Rick M. was a total diploma-mill moron who thought he was the only person who really knew how sales worked. But that’s another story.

Look out tomorrow for more rambling and the dish on my life as a furniture salesman.


Author: Cethru Cellophane

I have reached the regrettable realization that I may have squandered my life. I did a quick count recently and figured that I have visited about 66 countries, and lived for more than 3 years in 3 of them. During this time I completed 14 corporate moves (relocations) and have changed my address more than 23 times. I should have settled on a profession that would have kept me in one place with no packing and unpacking. When I think of the time I have spent bundling my life into and out of boxes. Ah well, it's all water under the bridge. But I am grateful for the experience. At the end of the day I will be able to say with a certain authority, "been there, done that". A note about this site’s Header Image The Header image for this site is of the Smith Avenue High Bridge. The bridge was built in 1889 and carries Minnesota State Highway 149 across its span of 2770 feet, 160 feet above the mighty Mississippi River. The picture was taken from the river looking to the north-east and downtown Saint Paul. The bridge is about 1040 miles from New Orleans. One of the reasons I like this view is that I come from a city which has a spectacular bridge. It’s the Clifton Suspension Bridge http://www.ikbrunel.org.uk/clifton-suspension-bridge which spans the Avon Gorge and the River Avon in Bristol, U.K. It’s about 1350 feet long and stands 245 feet above the river below. Sadly it has claimed the lives of more than 400 people who have committed suicide by jumping from the bridge. As a side note, not all attempts were successful. two small girls thrown off the bridge by their deranged father survived the fall when they were fished from the river by the crew of a passing pilot boat. The bridge was opened in 1864 and was designed by the 24 year old architect, Isambard Kingdom brunel. It took 35 years to complete.

One thought on “May 1st, my sixth month anniversary as a family slave (and Cool-aid Drinker)

  1. This post was so bad! 🤗 but good!


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